4/9/07: You Know What Really Grinds My Gears

April 9, 2007

You know what really grinds my gears?
When you’re driving on a road that happens to be on the side of a hill or mountain and you come across a sign that says “ROCKS.” What am I suppose to do with this information? Do I get out and try to catch one? Do I drive slower or faster to elude a falling rock? Or does the transportation department simply want me to notice the rocks that are next to the road? Honestly, I see these huge boulders that are on the bottom of the hill next to the road, if that thing is falling it’s going to go right through that fence and hit my car, knocking it off the road; no matter what the hell I do.
What is wrong with the people who have the new feature on cars, keyless ignition? I understand that some people feel they must stay on top of the current trends, but does this really have to be one? Are you really in that much of a hurry to start your car by not stepping in, shutting the door, and putting the key in? Do you really have to do that outside your car? Who are you batman? Alright, I can admit, if you wear a cape and are saving a life, then this feature is okay.
How about when a pilot on a plane comes on the intercom and says, “Sorry for the delay folks, but we’ll still make it to the destination on time.” How is this even possible? If there is a “delay” then should we not be late? No, because what he says after that, “We’ll just make that time up in the air.” Well, isn’t that comforting? He is going to speed up to get us there on time. Seems to me that the airline companies could just do this all the time and flights could be much shorter.
One of my favorites would have to be that hunters wear a full camouflage outfit and then a bright orange hat. After doing some further research I have found that hunters do this so that other hunters will see them and not shoot them. Seems bright right? Wrong, it actually happens to be quite dumb. Why wear all the camouflage, just to be seen by a bright orange hat? I really think that PETA needs to give all the animals bright orange hats; this would of course prevent them from being shot.
Why does it have to take so long to open a condom? Or is it simply the anticipation of something that doesn’t happen to often that messes with ones brain? I mean when I anticipate a fine bag of Lays Potato Chips it doesn’t take long to open. My theory is that people would rather have sex than enjoy a potato chip apparently. It’s such a small wrapper it should be easy to open, but it’s not. So, I feel the easiest solution is just not using them!
You know that else grinds my gears, STD’s!
Seriously though, I’m totally kidding, wrap it up. Until next week, continue letting the world piss you off, just don’t piss on the world.