4/16/07: You Know What Really Grinds My Gears

April 16, 2007

I can not stand the motion-censored sinks now invading our country. Who was the individual who thought this would be a quicker and easier way of washing hands? And, who says we needed an easier way? It’s washing hands, not creating them! Think of the time it takes someone to lift a handle, then wash, then close the handle. I understand that’s a lot of time, but the time that it now takes of trying to find that damn censor underneath the faucet is frustrating.
I would have loved to have been there for the first test of this invention and the inventor trying to explain why no water was immediately coming out. It never works on the first try. I suppose this is for the health issues, maybe germs are saved, but don’t you still have the bathroom door handle on the way out? Just give me the handle instead of playing sign language underneath the faucet.
How about the people who say things like, “I’m so happy I could die!” What does that even mean? Since when has death become amusing or positive? There are other sayings like, “that shirt is to die for”, or “I love you so much it kills me.” Enough with these dumb moments please. You never hear anyone say, “I’m so happy I could be sad.” This is a poor way to use the English language; we must put a stop to this.
Have you ever seen the road signs in suburban areas that say, “SLOW CHILDREN?” What do we do with this information? Do we feel bad for these children who do not pick-up things quickly? Do I drive faster or slower to avoid the slower children? I understand the sign is meant to be aware of children and drive cautious. But, can we just fit “DOWN”, in the middle? Or “DRIVE”, at the beginning? It makes the neighborhood look like it is filled with unintelligent youngsters.
If your one purpose at your job is to greet people then you officially have the easiest job in the world. Why when I go to Wal-Mart am I not greeted by the “greeters”? All their whole occupation is to say hello, how difficult could that be? Smile and say one word. Instead, they either just look at you, or you get no acknowledgment that you exist at all. How did these people get through an interview? It must have been the most awkward hiring ever.
Another great job is the person who works for the Weather Channel who determines what the temperature “Feels Like.” Can you imagine who this person sits by at the Weather Channel cafeteria or all during college? He’s surrounded by all these smart meteorologists and all he works off of his feeling. When you flip on the local forecast you see this big number which is the actual temperature and then in small font underneath it, you have another number of what it may feel like. Who is this person? And, do we know how many layers he or she has on at the time of this estimation?
Until next week, continue letting the world make you angry, just don’t make the world angry.